Yeah - really

;~~~; Am I just... not meant to be a digital artist? Is there just some higher power bent on steering me away from computer art? Dx The man who is repairing my PC has called me to tell me that, not only is my motherboard ancient history, but my hard-drive is corrupted.....

CORRUPTED! DDx

And he can't save my files. ;~~; So many high-res files I could have easily made into prints, could have easily added to my portfolio... GONE. Dx So here's to hoping I allowed downloads of my best pieces here on dA, otherwise I'm SOL. -SOB- So, when I go to pick up my computer and pay the fee that's almost as much as a brand new computer, I'm basically getting a blank slate. =__= Faster, yes, but... so very... very... empty. ;~~~~;

Hopefully Metrocon and this upcoming kitten will lift my spirits, cuz that was almost the straw that broke the camel's back. =__= Next stop, I bludgeon someone to death with my PC DDDx

Yeah - really

So, good news about my computer - I'll hopefully have it fixed by Thursday. It'll cost me close to $300, though, but it's less expensive than buying a brand new computer. The motherboard was over five years old and WAY outdated. So, I'm getting my hard-drive and disk-drive put into a bare-bones computer, which has about four-times the memory as mine, a way faster processor, and an updated motherboard. So when I get my baby back, it'll be loads faster! Which is loads better. ><

Once I get my PC, I'll hook it up at my house and get the large-res files for the prize prints, toss 'em on my jump drive, then waddle over to ~Nirvy713's house where I'll be staying the night and leaving early to Metrocon with her and ~gozita2003 - I'll have to get Nirvy's prize prints off her comp to put on my jump drive, then attack Target Copy. >< Gotta make them prints.

OH EM GEE IT'S ALMOST TIME :B It's gonna be cool. <3

ALSO. When I get back, I'm going to see about adopting a kitten. I miss very much having a pet, and a cat would be great to catch the mice and lizards running about my house, not to mention great amusement. >w< It's gonna be a surprise on my mom, who didn't want any more pets, but every pet we've had we got without her knowing. She'll love it - I'll train it to stay off the tables and catch things. It'll be a little hunter. If it's a boy, I'm thinking of naming it Icarus, if it's the black kitten I adopt. If it's the gray boy kitten, I might just name him Cinder or Myo. =w=

I CAN'T WAIT :B Dogs are too expensive to keep, because they're very demanding. Cats I can keep indoors, which is good when I get my own apartment. Plus they don't eat as much as dogs do. >< I'LL MAKE SURE TO TAKE LOADS OF PICTURES :B

Yeah - really

|| WARNING || This is a rant about how my life is currently sucking ass. =__=;;;

First and foremost, let me start by asking a question: Why the fuck does this shit keeping happening to me?

I was all (almost) ready to go on and be completely happy on my three-day visit to Metrocon this year. However, some outside force seems content to make my intended vacation into a three-day worry-thon. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, allow me to explain.

It all started with my funds. At first, my mom was putting on pounds of stress for me not to go to this event. Despite the fact that I’ve already paid for my ticket and my room in the hotel with my own money (which was initially destined to pay for my college fees), she seemed determined to keep me here. So far, I’ve been using what money I have to pay for my laptop (which I’m currently using to type this and cost roughly over $2000), the appropriate software needed for the art courses I plan on taking in college (roughly over $300), books and tuitions (God only knows), and any other expenses which wormed their way into my budget ($???). However, due to the financial crunch my family is going through, I’ve had to use this limited resource for house bills and groceries as well as car repairs – at the moment, we’ve only one source of income that isn’t bringing quite enough money in.

And then, as if that wasn’t enough of a strain, the PC I’ve come to rely on for my art/bread-winner has now just completely died on me – for the SECOND TIME. I’ve gone through two PCs already before this, one of which I got repaired for free by a school friend and then just lost again. I don’t seem to have good luck with computers. First it started with the monitor – it just went black onto “ Power Saver Mode” or whatever. I shook the mouse, pressed some fancy keys on the keyboard, thinking that maybe it just went to sleep. But, no – it wouldn’t come back. It was as if the power to the PC was off and I just left the monitor running, the light from the power button shining orange instead of green. But my PC was NOT off – its light was still green. So then maybe I figured it was a connection or something. I checked the back and all plugs and connections were go – so why was it behaving this way? Then I tried something I wish I hadn’t – I restarted the computer manually by pressing and holding down the “on” button on my PC. It shut off as I intended it to do but, when I went to turn it back on, all I saw was an orange light and there was no familiar hum of the modem working, no drone of the internal fan. My PC was not turning on.

I had a spare monitor lying around, and I tried that one – it didn’t seem to work. I looked at the connection to the first monitor, at the little copper rods inside the blue head – one was missing. This I immediately took to be the problem for my monitor, but not for my PC. Was it corrupted somehow? Then I thought, well maybe it’s the power bar I’m using to plug everything in? It’s kind of old and may be standing on its last legs. So I go to get a newer outlet bar I had stored in my room and replaced the old one in my office with it. That did absolutely NOTHING. So, this is where I’m wishing I paid more attention when my older brother and my dad took computers apart and rebuilt them. My brother made his very own PC from scratch and my dad used to repair them for a living before encephalitis and dementia took his able mind – why didn’t I learn when the gettin’ was good?

Well, it’s too late fore woulda-shoulda-coulda’s, and so now I’m left to pay the soon-to-be hefty cost of getting my PC repaired by a professional. If they can’t fix the machine, I’m hoping they can at least recover my files and all the high-resolution artwork I’ve been saving to add to my portfolio and sell as prints. The prize prints for Metrocon were in that PC, so if I can’t get those out, the Risembool Rangers panel will be minus the work of one artist. That’s going to suck after all the anticipation and eager grabby-hands for the Vega and Edward pictures. (No, I’m not tooting my own horn – I’m simply going off of what I’ve been hearing.) Since I don’t have a ride tomorrow to go to this place, I’ll have to do it on Saturday and lose a day of work on the rest of the prize prints. Right now, I’ve only got seven days left before I go Metrocon and I’m really being pressed for time.

So, while I’m ranting and listening to my gloom-and-doom classical music, I’m praying that I allowed the download to those prints on deviantART and that the resolution won’t be so bad that making a decent print out of them would be impossible. If I can’t have the problem fixed by the end of the second batch of the ~chinaearthauction, then the bidder might have to either wait until I can fix it, or settle for an experimental traditional art piece. ><

Meanwhile, I'll just have to use my laptop for internet, though dial-up seems to act even slower on my Mac than it did with my PC. Not that I care - I can live without internet. My Mac just doesn't have any photoshop software or anything. ;A; If anyone knows any SAFE free art software for Macs, please let me know.

…..

And to add the cluster-fuck cherry to my nuggity-shit banana split, I just lost my class ring – where the fuck did I put it? DDDx

Forgive me for this rant, but I need to get my stress out somehow. =___=;; Not that I’m saying my life is worse than anyone else’s, but it ain’t a basket o’ fucking kittens and rainbow stars.

Yeah - really

Fwah, my back is LOADS better now - I started doing some yoga and stretches and I reclaimed my actual bed. =w=; My muscles are soar now because of the exercise I did, but that's okay - I like the feeling.

I saw Hancock the other day - it was a really good movie. Would've made an awesome comic. Will Smith is special - I LOL every time I see his face. xD

I'm also whoring out my new dip pens and I found a way to recycle this dried out brush-tip ink pen I had. >w< I use it as a brush for my India ink - it had the same kinda ink in the beginning, so I figured it wouldn't hurt. It works great - I used it on my latest deviation.

BUT ANYWHO. Metrocon's right around the corner and I need to get in gear. Gotta make prints, go shopping for essentials, figure out what all I need to bring. Not to mention I need to get a jump start on the Emo Quail t-shirts I designed. (If you're interested, the design's in my gallery.) The extra shirts will be sold at Anime South, where hopefully I'll be able to share a booth in the Artists' Alley.

| AUCTION! |

Batch TWO of is now in effect! I'm in it this time, and we're doing good - already got a high bid of $50, last I checked. Check it out!

WHERE THE MONEY IS GOING

Gleaning for the World is a non-profit organization dedicated to providing life-saving support to communities in critical need throughout the world. They basically provide medical and essential supplies to humanitarian projects worldwide. According to Charity Navigator, 99.7% of Gleaning for the World's funds go towards its programs. Donation-wise, we are planning to donate under the specification of "disaster relief", so as to help more than simply one area. At the moment, the organization's focus is on Myanmar.

for my BACK Dx

For two days so far I've been dealing with a horrible pain in my back. =_= It's limited how much I can move my head/neck or shoulders, and I blame my futon mattress. e__e I'm gonna burn it.... is that legal? I have a bonfire pit in the back yard and we hired some lawn dudes to come hack down the jungles that were growing in our yards.... I could've sworn I heard monkeys. o__o; Or at least a puma.

I believe it's a combination of bad posture and the crummy futon mattress. So, I've made a resolution - to act like I'm back at Parris Island, the Marine Corps bootcamp. We had to sit with rod-straight backs everywhere we went, and that's better posture instead of slumping over.

I can't afford to take another day off. >< I need to finish four more prints for Metrocon, which is in about sixteen days - and I'm notorious for being a hideously slow artist. =__=;;;..Unless I'm getting paid... I love me some money...

So, yeah - you may be seeing less of me online as I focus on my prints and straightening out my back. Dx I wish I could afford a chiropractor.